I was just sitting there in my beach chair when my son lit the last of our illegal Alabama fireworks. I almost spilled my Peroni when the stray fiery balls came juttering and spinning up the driveway. Two went left, one buzzed my ear and the third was a direct hit to the underside of my chair bouncing off ankle and shin to ass cheek and ricocheting off the other ankle barely missing the $600 car in the cul de sac.

Maybe I’m lucky I’m not getting sued.