Since our lives are put on hold because of snow in Georgia, I had to amuse myself with whatever was available. In this case, the Suave Professionals Shampoo bottle.
Apparently the makers of my shampoo know I need guidance.

(direct bottle quote)
Every Mom can ride the bus to beautiful.
Instructions: Get kids safely to school,retreat to shower, lather and rinse. Repeat, because when was the last time you dared to do that?
For best results, use with Suave Humectant Conditioner and a scandalous night out with the love interest.
And while you’re at it, do something else just for you- like pick up a big foamy latte or restock your lingerie drawer. Fully. With the likes of things that drawer has never seen.

The Suave promise: We will do everything in our power to help women say yes to beautiful and to unleash the goddess within every mom.

Now why would I shampoo with anything else?