So, I’m supposed to tell you SEVEN THINGS.
*exhales loudly*

1. I almost got on MTV at a disco in Ibiza until I called my 42 year old friend my girlfriend.

2. I smashed my truck into a Lebaron’s front grille at the gym and didn’t tell anyone then swapped cars with my husband forever.

3. I spit into someone’s coffee when I was mad at them and it made me feel better.

4. I used to have a secret stash of money that I called my getaway fund stored next to a map of Paris.

5. In my dream last night I beat up a faceless girl, throwing her to the ground and telling her, I hope you believe in karma.

6. Numbers are powerful to me, as are kisses from puppies and a wink from a stranger.

7. I honestly believe secrets aren’t secrets if you tell them, but if you never say what you want out loud, you can’t have it.

And because I am an overachiever, and a borrower of words:
This is from DOOYA on onesentence.org:
Recently I realized that I waste my life on the internet … and published this insight in a blog.